She-Hulk (2004 series) #7

This story starts on the planet Skardon where a boxing match has been arranged between the Champion Of The Universe (Tryco Slatterus, 1 of the Elders Of The Universe) and Beta Ray Bill (the alien with the power of Thor) presided over by a member of the Magistrati. The defeat of Champion would mean the end of his tyrannical rule over the planet. The judge reminds the contestants that no extra powers or weapons are allowed so Bill throws away his hammer Stormbreaker. (But the Magistrati doesn't comment on Tyco's Power Gem embedded in his forehead, nor the fact that Bill's Thor form isn't his natural state.) We see that Bill's 3 hooded seconds are Adam Warlock, Gamora and Pip The Troll. Bill starts to lose right away, and the judge is certain he'll lose but must of course wait for the bout to end.

Meanwhile in the Superhuman Law Offices of Goodman, Leiber, Kurtzberg & Holliway She-Hulk is in Holden Holliway's office arguing with him about having to look after his teenage supervillain granddaughter Sasha Martin. The android Awesome Andy and Jennifer Walters' rival Mallory Book are listening at the door while Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese tries not to hear the shouting. Sasha, aka Southpaw, gives as good as she gets, insinuating that Jen is really a man in drag and using the gauntlet on her left arm to grab Shulkie with a fist-shaped forcefield, but Jen easily bends 1 'finger' back which causes a painful reaction in the glove. Holden claims that the situation is good for them both because Sasha needs a role model and Jen needs to learn responsibility. Mallory opens the door a bit so Walters can hear her gloating that she *knew* she wasn't hired because of her legal skills but to be a baby-sitter. Holliway hurriedly denies it because Jen and Sasha are *both* glaring at *him* as he tries to sweet-talk them.

But everything's put on hold as 3 Magistrati teleport in to ask someone to join their group. Holden is honoured to accept but they say it's not him. Sasha seizes on the chance to escape 'house-arrest', but of course it's Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk they want.

Back on Skardon Champion has KO'd Beta Ray Bill and retained his right to rule the planet. He promises his people even more suffering than before. Warlock and Gamora have sent Pip to teleport off to recruit their next contender, and he returns with Gladiator (Praetor of the Shi'ar Imperial Guard). But the Magistrati knows that even this Superman-analogue (with an Omac hairdo) won't be able to defeat Champion+Power Gem.

Holden explains to Jen that the Magistrati are agents of the Living Tribunal, dispensing his justice, and convinces her to take up their offer. The 3 Magistrati teleport her to their Star Chamber but she persuades them to take Southpaw along too because she's her responsibility (but really out of spite). Holliway tells Andy he won't need Plan B now.

The 2 females arrive in a space out of Escher/Ditko and Shulk has a new Magistrati outfit (which doesn't look anything like what the others wear). Sasha as usual is complaining about it not being fair that she's stuck with Jen. Jen tells her that they're going to meet the LT, the embodiment of cosmic fairness. Shulk is awed by the colossal being, but Sasha is only concerned that he's not wearing any pants. (What! She's never seen Silver Surfer?)

On Skardon Champion has beaten up Gladiator. Adam Warlock decides that for the sake of its inhabitants he must enter the boxing ring himself.

Jennifer Walters presides over the cosmic Claims Court while Sasha tries to get some sleep on a big hand forcefield. Rigellian Recorder Zeta 9 is her bailiff and introduces her 1st case. The Emperor and Empress (both named Merkra?) of planet Honchi have a dispute over how to raise their son - to worship the Sun or the Moon. Jen remembers the Biblical wisdom of Solomon and suggests they cut the child in half, expecting the better parent to object. But she's shocked when the Emperor chops the kid in 2 with his sword. Z9 commends her judgement because the Honchi have the natural ability to subdivide, and both parts grow into new babies and the parents leave satisfied.

The next case is the extremely slow-living Sloggs vs the extremely high-speed Bluazz. A Bluazz spaceship crash-landed in a valley on Sloggo Prime a while ago. The Sloggs have now got round to offering to transport the Bluazz but the Bluazz say the valley has been their home now for 83 generations. After living through the Slogg Prince's interminable droning at the court the Bluazz give up and decide to leave anyway.

The 3rd case is brought by a planet of recluses against the Watchers. 1 of the 3 Watcher representatives is Earth's Watcher Uatu, and he and Jen exchange greetings. But Sasha is disgusted by the whole perverted idea. The reclusive complainants aren't present but speak via the Recorder. They claim that their planet has remained hidden for all their recorded history but now the Watcher Qyre has noticed them and they want him to stop watching them. Qyre responds that it's his duty as a Watcher to watch, but not interfere. This cuts no ice with them - Qyre and all the Watchers have now seen them. The 3rd Watcher Zoma raises a point of fact, that so far only Qyre has seen the recluses. He will describe them to the other Watchers at their next regular gathering. She-Hulk proposes a solution that Qyre *not* go to gatherings and not tell the other Watchers any details about the recluses, and they declare that acceptable. Cosmic justice seemingly seals the deal by deleting Qyre's mouth!

That seems to be the last case and Jen sags in relief and congratulates herself. But Sasha points out that she solved the 1st case by mistake, did nothing in the 2nd case, and in the 3rd just told an old guy to stop staring and shut up. Then Z9 tells them he's learned of a new case.

On Skardon Warlock is battered and bloody and Gamora throws in the towel. Adam tells her she has to let him continue but she says he would have died. Warlock of course replies that's nothing new. The Magistrati (singular) asks Pip if they have any other contenders but the Troll says no. Then the judge ask if they'd like the Magistrati (plural) to appoint an advocate for them.

And Recorder Z9 tells She-Hulk her next case is on Skardon.

And so next issue the 2 plotlines will meet.